Mělník: Castle, wine, tunnels, rivers – and Czechia’s quirkiest cafe

An hour by train north of Prague – and quicker by bus – is the all-walkable castle’n’wine town of Mělník. It sits on the confluence of the Elbe and Vltava rivers, on a fine smooth riverside cycle path.

You can cycle pretty much flat south from here almost to the country’s border with Austria, and north to Germany and ultimately the North Sea.

You can see the view of that confluence from the castle’s viewpoint. Or can you? The ‘obvious’ junction is actually that of the Elbe and the snappily named Vraňansko-hořinský plavební kanal. Obviously that’s Czech, so we don’t understand it, but it is, in fact, a canal. The actual river nexus is slightly upstream (the left of the picture above, invisibly). Curiously, the Vltava looks bigger than the Elbe, but it’s the Elbe that keeps the name. Women achievers of the past who married a deadbeat man but had to take his name might know the feeling.

Further along are more views, to the north of the zippily-named Řip Mountain. The castle is splendid and well worth visiting, and can sell you a range of fine wines. Moravia usually has the vineyards, but this bit of Bohemia is unusual in having good viticulture.

The grapes are ones you’d associate with Austria – Riesling, Müller-Thurgau, Pinot Gris, Pinot Noir – and there’s a very Austrian look to the hillside castle and vineyards beneath as you cycle along the car-free river path.

The main square is pleasant, too. The friendly Tourist Info office is in the colonnaded building, and can organise you on to a tour of the town's underground tunnels. (Like many a town in Czechia, there's a labyrinth under the main square once used as storage, and now visitable.) And on the lane from there to the castle are many picturesque pavement restaurants.

But for me, Mělník's best attraction is Prague Gate, the striking tower that greets you when you walk a kilometre or two to the centre from the train or bus station.

Because inside it is a delightful cafe and photo gallery (Galerie ve Věži) ranged precariously over several tiny wooden floors up creaking and steep stairs.

To get the rich coffees and tasty cakes up from the bar area, the barista uses a pulley and wheel system to levitate the tray of goodies up to the hungry and thirsty customers.

I’m surprised I didn’t have to fight may way to the counter past lines of YouTubers and Instagrammers.

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